Psycho. #19

In which Caspar puts the “animus” back in “Animus advice column for cinephiles”.

I'm starting to dread going to the movies. Every time I go to see a new film, I can't help but worry about annoying things happening. Like, people constantly scrolling through their phones, talking loudly, or even snoring during the quiet parts. And don't get me started on people making out or recording the screen! It's really frustrating. I've noticed this happening more and more lately, and I'm not sure why. Does anyone have any ideas on how to fix this?

Ah man. I was with you the whole way, until you went in on “people making out”. I’ll have you know that rudely necking one’s innamorat(o/a) during a movie you barely notice is actually a beautiful, time-honoured tradition of the cinema! How wonderful to think that people still do it — it makes my heart swell to imagine these sweet types, possibly out on a date, getting off with one another in the dark of the cinema. Perhaps they’re having an affair? Maybe the cinema, at a young person’s discounted rate, is still a bargainous and safe opportunity to get hot and heavy with someone, when you don’t want to go for drinks and the parks are too cold. Good on these enterprising snoggers! 

(Have you seen the bit in Seinfeld where Jerry and his girlfriend get caught making out during Schindler’s List? Head straight to season 5, episodes 18 and 19, titled “The Raincoats”, now showing on Netflix. You’re most welcome.)